On Niceness.. And Not

Happy Easter, everyone! I'm sorry the blog is such a lazy space but posting takes time, not to mention energy..who'd have thought sitting on your ass for an hour can actually be that exhausting?
My question for the day is: why are some people nasty? To nice fashion bloggers, I mean (that came out sounding a bit whiny and immature, but it'll have to do). When I first started reading other people's fashion blogs, it was all a bit desultory. If I liked it, I bookmarked the page, if I didn't then I didn't come back. I didn't see anyone else leaving negative feedback either. So the first time I saw meanness on a commentspace, it was a bit of a shock because the blogger in question, Susie Bubble, is one of the nicest people on my links list and the comment (it was anonymous- no email, no homepage) was no more and no less than a direct personal attack against her, and a really nasty insult to boot. The flip side was that it was gratifying (for me, at least, since I wasn't into typepad commenting back then) to see other bloggers closing ranks around one of their own and proceeding to call the anonymous commenter a few choice names. She put up another post, that discussion closed, the matter ended there...finit, we'd have thought. As it turned out, it hadn't. On another post came another insult. People, again, disagreed with it. And then, up pipes someone asking her to fix her writing style (he/she got cyber-shouted down again), and on yet another post turns up someone claiming to work at Vogue and dissing the blog...these comments turned up on just a few posts out of maybe a thousand, but what I found odd was the fact that they seemed to show up only on Style Bubble, or about Susie. Maybe I'm missing something and horrible comments are in fact being sent by email to the keepers of the other sites I visit, or comments are being left and I don't see them, but it bothers me that people seem to taking potshots only at the girl they see as least likely to take their heads off for it. And I don't mean everyone should get rude comments (no one should, where are our manners?), or that everyone who reads a blog should agree with what it says, but there's a world of difference between plain old disagreement and the kind of pettiness I see in these cowards (that's what they are. I've yet to see any of them leave an email address or url with their comments). But this utter rubbish doesn't have to be put up with, by Susie or anyone else who keeps a blog about anything at all. If someone feels threatened by the fact that we have the inclination to speak our minds and people seem to listen or respond to what we have to say, that's their problem- not ours.


Queen Michelle said...

I agree 100% with you. Susie is a very sweet girl and I have never seen her be anything but positive on her blog, never writing anything negative about anything EVER, yet I have seen the kind of remarks you're talking about. We at KoS once got a rude remark and I have to say, we aren't sweet and nice like young Susie - we promptly gave the commenter in question an acerbic piece of our minds and suffice to say that person, nor anyone else, has ever said anything rude since. Perhaps I'm just evil, but I will only accept intelligent/valid/fun commentary and anything purely insulting would simply get deleted and the person's IP address blocked. I personally don't tolerate fools, even when it's just on my blog. Speaking one's mind is good, but only when a fair point is being put across in a semi intelligent fashion. We speak our minds on our blog, but more often that not we are decidedly tongue in cheek and anything horrid we say is to be taken with a pinch of salt (after all we call ourselves Queens for gods sake!). But as you said, Susie has many people who are quick to tell such idiots where to shove their unwelcome remarks, even if she is too polite to do so herself.

Blue Floppy Hat said...

I couldn't agree more..all said and done, a blog is still someone's personal space- and I know I wouldn't care for unwelcome invasions of mine.

ambika said...

I had one nasty anonymous comment on my blog, deleted it, blocked the IP address and called it a day. It surprised me because I feel the same way you do--if I don't like something, I don't go back. It's rude AND a waste of time to be negative towards someone I don't even know. How others think it's okay is beyond me.

I've seen it happen occasionally on craft blogs too (Inside a Black Apple is the first one that comes ot mind but I know I've seen it elsewhere.) It never fails to surprise me.

Perakath said...

Nasty comments are par for the course on fashion blogs, especially ones that talk about fugliness!

Anonymous comments can be disallowed at the click of a button.

Why should you get annoyed when someone leaves a nasty comment? Granted I've never been the victim of an online personal attack, but I doubt it would move me very much, especially if it were anonymous.

Blue Floppy Hat said...

Nasty comments may be on par for the course, but as I said, what bothers me is the fact that people pick on the blogger they see as least likely to hit back, simply because she's nice. And as Queen M and ambika have said, they've been subjected to it too.
Anonymous comments might be disallowed by your settings, but then that'd require anyone who wants to leave a comment to have an account on blogger, which I don't think is fair.
Maybe it wouldn't bother you, Perakath, but the fact remains that fashion blogs are tiny things and consistent nastiness from people you don't know is hard to bear- and anonymous comments, even on Nonsense on Stilts, freak me out because I have no idea who it is.

Anonymous said...

So this comment freaks you out?

Bwahahahahahaa! :P

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Fondest of upbeat music and brightly coloured sweets.