I don't take well to rum at all. The stuff inevitably makes me want to puke, possibly as a side effect of the sugar it's made of, and the smell just isn't one of my favourite things, to the extent that I can't even ingest a simple rum and coke without feeling queasy. The only way I like it is as a babushka (see recipe, somewhere below).
Neither, for that matter, do I like feeling grubby or unwashed. Or people who look as if they might smell like they are. Looking like that around the time we have to submit assignments or give exams is forgivable, though.
I'm also mildly ambivalent about boats: I do not take to water like a fish of any description except possibly the mudskipper, which as far as I know is amphibious.
So it's all very well Captain Jack Sparrow is fictional, because I can't even imagine what it would be like to fancy a real-life person like that when the fictional one, according to the person who portrays him, is partly based on a cartoon skunk. I'm just an utter sucker for swordfights (including those of the lightsabre variety), added to the fact that he's mostly batty- or at least seems it. And I kind of want a Pirates of the Caribbean 4 to watch sometime.