Seven Odd Facts About Self

Since I've been tagged by Marlene from Blushing Apples with the task of setting down seven random facts about myself, I may as well finish this:

1. I quite frequently fall in love with men who are unavailable, unavailability arising from any of the following factors:
(i) nonexistence via being fictional
(ii)lack of interest in me
(iii)- which is really a subset of (ii)- they're taken.
As for (i), past candidates for my harem included D'Artagnan from The Three Musketeers, Dylan from Diary of a Crush*, Luke Skywalker**, Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Trip Fontaine from The Virgin Suicides despite what I see as his ultimate dickheadedness, the Weasley twins (even at the risk of being turned into a canary along the way), Psmith, Julio from Y Tu Mama Tambien, Marcus Flutie from the Sloppy Firsts etc series and erm, Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates 1.
2. A dog once placed me under effective house arrest for three days.
3. I was once a member of an organisation known as the Sisterhood of the Nice Girls' Loo. This was thanks to our simultaneous discovery of a newly renovated girls' bathroom in college, as well as the fact that we were the only people who knew it was there- it was all dusty and broken-down outside back then, so most people just assumed it was as bad inside. Sadly, the niceness of the loo- pretty tiles, taps and full-length non-distorting mirrors- didn't last past its discovery by the general populace and an invasion of pigeons who came in through the window and proceeded to poop all over the place. That didn't happen till much later, though.
4. I hate it when people steal the tips of my cake triangles. It makes me feel cheated, and it's only thanks to my magnificent capacity for self-control that those who do it don't know they've come thisclose to being stabbed in the eye with a dessert fork. And I don't even care about the rest of the cake, but the apex of a triangular slice of cake or pie is something I must be allowed to consume if it's on my plate.
5. My mum made- as in, handmade- all my clothes till I was about five years old.
6. I'm a bibliophile. The kind who who sniffs old and new pages and gets dust on her nose as a result. Thank heaven I don't have allergies. Also quite odd, the last few old books I've sniffed have smelled of...custard.
7. One of the best compliments I've ever had went "You're more macho than those two boys you hang out with". I don't get complimented that often, and certainly not to my face, but despite the huge potential for insult in that statement, I actually felt quite flattered by it.

*don't persecute me about that one, please.
**don't persecute me about that one either.
I'm going to change the tag rules. Anyone who reads this can, if they wish to, tell me about the best compliment they've ever had from someone- never mind if it's fit for the ears of children or not, and even if it's more about the complimenter than the actual line itself, fire away.

Of Wolves And Eggs

Enough have I had of not posting....the following scrap was the product of extreme boredom in Human Rights class last year, inspired by the memory of a photograph of Bill Nighy in a top hat, tux and wolf's feet, sitting on a giant golden egg. It's a bit wobbly in parts but as long as inspiration refuses to strike, stuck we are.

The Wolf, the Shutterbug and the Giant Egg.

This is the tale of how a villain
Who, of his kind, was one in a million
Was persuaded to wear a suit
And sit on an egg for a photoshoot.

In a country distant, with boundaries big
Lived the wolf who terrorised the Three Little Pigs.
‘Twas a daylong job, and he often got bored
So, when this happened, he lay down and snored.

Once in a while, he would get fed up
And stalk around, snarling, “Insolent pups!”
(Pigs, actually)- “I’m sick of this talk!
All I’m doing is eating chalk!”

“Where will they find a wolf of my talents?
The little pigs’ lives now hang in the balance.
But not for much longer, if I have my way
I’ll blow that house of theirs down some day.”

“I’m a star, I am,” Wolfie growled
Then threw back his head and had a good howl
“I deserve to be immortalised!”
(By a shutterbug with a tender hide)

And just at that moment, a carriage arrived
(A collision with this, Wolfie barely survived)
And out of it, with a face like a pug
Jumped the wished-for Shutterbug.

Wolfie jumped, and Wolfie stared
His hackles rose, his teeth were bared
But he thought- can this be the goods
Turning up now in my neck of the woods?

This Shutterbug walked up to Wolfie and asked
If Wolfie would agree to be masked
And, suited and booted, with an egg for a perch,
Shot as ‘Wolfie the Great’ under the birch.

The suit was human, and Wolfie itched
To take it off, and have a twitch-
“Careful!” said Shutterbug, “Our morals are loose.
We stole that egg from Mother Goose.”

So Wolfie’s itchy feet went unscratched
For itchiness too, they went unmatched
The egg was the size of a telephone booth
He kept slipping off, thinking, “Eggs, forsooth!”

The Shutterbug kept saying, “Oh please! One more!
That’ll be it, then we go home and snore.”
Wolfie was bugged; he was thoroughly tired
Of everything this Shutterbug was, and hired.
He wanted to go back to his comfy digs
And keep terrorising the three little pigs.

(Plus, he preferred his wooden beer keg
To the smooth surface of the stupid cold egg)

His itch kept itching, and he had to stay still
So Shutterbug could profile his snout on the hill
He finally lost it, and with great pomp
Raised his right foot, brought it down and stomped.

With the stomp of his foot, the eggshell broke
And Wolfie met his end in the yolk.

So this is the moral, not a joke:
Be careful where your boot-tips poke.

Erm...

So Gemma Ward is, according to reports, shooting/has shot the first ever cover (by Patrick Demarchelier) for Vogue India as I type. I've let my feelings about the launch of the magazine (high levels of ambivalence) be known earlier, but right now all I'm thinking is- does the girl actually look so oriental that she's the only model you can use for inaugural Vogue covers in this part of the world? I'd have liked it if they used an Indian model on the cover, even though most of them honestly aren't up to scratch, and I still wish they'd picked someone other than Gemma- Piv, Behati Prinsloo, Stam or even Irina (wishful thinking, I know) would've done just great. Huh. But at least they haven't gone the Cosmo way and done something awful like give over the cover to Aishwarya Rai, who is beautiful but has about the same levels of acting talent as Mischa Barton (thinking about it, probably less). More importantly in this context, since we're talking Vogue, she's also utterly lacking in fashion sense of any kind since her stylists are by and large inept and having the most perfect facial features in the country and a decentish figure doesn't automatically give you the ability to dress yourself before you make a public appearance . At least Rachel Zoe had some merit.. check pictures of her- Rai, I mean- at Cannes in 2003 if you want to know what I'm talking about. And as for the model I was actually rooting for to have scored the cover, Ujjwala Raut, it's an honest pity that urchin/waif/little girl is the look models seem to need these days, it's beautiful but if the bloody mag had been launching five years ago when looking like a grown woman was actually a good thing in the modelverse, she'd have scored the cover for sure. She happens to belong to the rather va-va-voom school of beauty that was hot around then, and was also probably the only Indian model ever to score jobs at the major fashion weeks on a somewhat consistent basis (Lanvin, YSL, Dolce & Gabbana- no matter how much I don't really like their stuff, they're still a big name- Emilio Pucci, Zac Posen, Viktor&Rolf, Vivienne Westwood, Givenchy and- oh, wait- Victoria's Secret, should it count?). She semi-retired when she had her kid about two years ago, but she's still fairly amazing. And at least her version of a fish face doesn't get on my nerves like pretty Gemma's....

That's her on the far left (Dolce & Gabbana advert, circa 2004)

Before I resume hiatus, I just want to ask: did any of you guys ever like Faithless? I just went through Outrospective all over again just now and it was like, hello Summer of 2002, cause it's funny, I loved them all through my high school years and haven't listened to them since. I guess a bit of watching couldn't hurt?
One Step Too Far

"I'm Not Lula Mae Anymore.."

Is it just me, or does the cover above (the one everyone went ga-ga about last year) seem just a bit strange? I mean, I get the appeal of the concept, but it just looks somewhat eurgh on a model who clearly isn't twelve or fourteen years old. Too try-hard, even if she's gorgeous. I still think Lula is an amazing mag, though.

That was just pointless rambling.. I don't know if I'll post again for a while and was even considering nuking the whole operation and I could just be fickle and a post fiend from next week or next month, or six months from now. It's not that I don't love fashion anymore, I still do and will claw out the eyes of anyone who dares to suggest that it's of no use to the world (and how useful is Formula 1 racing anyway? Or Damien Hirst's diamond skull? Though I find that objectionable for other reasons), I'm just a bit - no, extremely - worn out with recent events and would like to hole up on my own for a long, long time.
And before this post can be picked up as official proof that I've lost all my marbles, I'd like to say a huge thank you to all my lovely readers- Queen Michelle, Meg, Blushing Apples, Emma, Alanna, Mrs Fashion, Ambika, Maddy and everyone else who bothered reading. You guys make this totally worth it, and all your blogs kick ass. And my journey into the fashion blogverse hasn't ended, just stalled for a bit.

Hello, I'm Back Again..Well, Not Quite.

There won't be any posts on here for the next approx. three weeks unless I snag myself Internet access somewhere, so this is just a goodbye till then (the 26th of June, to be exact) because I don't want this space to look abandoned without an explanation for why it looks that way . There's also the little matter of exams getting in the way, so best of luck to everyone who's got finals/anything of the sort about now.